We are all hungry for the “how.” 

We want it desperately. 

A list of the exact steps we need to take to get the thing that we want.

Survival School for Associates

Early on in my career, I strived to be a team player. That descriptor was regularly part of the positive reviews I got.

As I got more senior, I valued working with more junior people I considered team players. It was regularly part of the positive reviews I gave.

The associate experience often includes a lack of any meaningful feedback. I know this can be frustrating.

Growth is not linear.

Growth can look like a crawl or an inch or a scoot or a skosh rather than a step.

It’s not unusual to get to a point where you realize your job or career is just happening to you.

You’ve had your head down, working hard, just trying to make it through the days and weeks. And then…

Rest does not have to be earned. It is not bought with the currency of your time, effort, or hard work.

That is the question. (Or at least it often is if you’re a newer lawyer).

It can feel scary to ask questions of people more senior than you. No matter what the question is.

We all love to make these big ambitious goals. We love to focus on (and sometimes fret about) the big life changing decisions.

But the wins start in the decisions to do one (seemingly) small thing differently.

At least it is when you’re catastrophizing about the worst case scenario. Because that is the only scenario it is showing you. You look into the future, and all you see are the bad things that could happen.

I used to confuse my anxiety with intuition all the time. 

But anxiety and intuition are not the same.

Goodbye anxiety dreams about not being able to find my locker or my classroom and showing up for that test not knowing I had one - hello anxiety dreams about hosting webinars!

Most high-achieving women have a productivity mindset (because we are taught to have one). Especially women lawyers. 

“I’m not doing enough.”

This thought pops into my head a lot.

I know you want to be better at managing your time. 

If you’re prone to catastrophizing (spinning out in the worst case scenario), “just think positive” is useless advice.

This thought pattern REALLY isn’t helping you: “They are disrespecting my time.”

A question I’m always pondering for myself and my clients: Where can we cultivate a paradox mindset?

Ever felt like your mind's default setting is “worst-case scenario”? Same here.

I get a small burst of joy when people cancel things. Even things I was looking forward to. I rarely experience disappointment or annoyance, and if I do, they are very temporary.