When Other People Disrespect Your Time

This thought pattern REALLY isn’t helping you: “They are disrespecting my time.”

I help lawyers learn how to exercise more control over their calendars. One of the biggest struggles I see? Other people are rarely, if ever, on board with that goal in the way we want them to be. 

They will continue to schedule things outside of the hours you want to be working. 

To send the email, and then DM you 30 seconds later when they don't get a response… and then call you 30 seconds later.

To bug you during your vacation.

To send emails asking for a status update before the very deadline *they set* is even close.

Because they are also trying to control their own calendar. And the way that they're trying to do that may (and often will) conflict with the way that you are trying to control yours.

This often leads to some variation of the idea that they aren’t being respectful of your time. 

And it may be that they do not care in any way shape or form about your time. That they see their time as more important than yours. Maybe not. 

It doesn’t actually matter. Either way, it’s rarely helpful to focus on the idea that someone is disrespecting your time. 

Here's how it tends to play out. YMMV. 

You think something like “They are so disrespectful of my time.” 

And then you get annoyed. 

And then…

You stew. You think about telling them off or you craft and recraft the perfect email response in your head. You talk to your work BFF about how annoying this other person is. You frustratedly rearrange your calendar so that you can fit whatever their thing is in. You do a quick search of the job boards. 

You don’t do whatever else it was you were planning to do or at least not in the time you allotted to it. You don’t make a quick decision about how you want to respond based on your own schedule, workload, and preferences. You don’t pushback or look for a middle ground.

And none of it feels good. 

The result? 

You end up disrespecting your own time because you were spending time doing all of these other things. And that other person hasn’t changed one bit.

Some questions that can help save you some mental and emotional energy: 

▫️How can I best respect my time right now? 

▫️What would serve my short-term interests best here?

▫️What would serve my long-term interests best?

Then decide what to do from there.

I think of it as my job to respect my time. And their job to respect their time. 

Sometimes that's gonna create a clash of interests. And that’s okay. Sometimes I’m going to choose to spend my time in a way that benefits me over them. Sometimes I’m intentionally going to do the opposite. Sometimes there’s a great middle ground. 

But we can reduce the time, mental, and emotional drain, and make better decisions, if we stop focusing on or even believing that other people can control or disrespect our time.

A ❤️ note to you: I know, I know. This sounds easier said than done. But you can do it, and I can help. Sign up for a free call with me at jenndealcoaching.as.me/consult, and I’ll send the link directly to you. On the call, we will (1) talk about the goals you have for yourself and your life, (2) I’ll tell you how coaching can help get you there, and (3) you’ll decide whether you’re ready to move forward with changing your life.