Beyond the Binary Thinking: Paradox Mindset
A question I’m always pondering for myself and my clients: Where can we cultivate a paradox mindset?
The paradox approach switches our mindset from a very binary “either/or” to a more expansive “both/and” or a “yes/and” or a “maybe/but” framing.
It allows you to acknowledge that some tension exists, for whatever reason, without limiting yourself with respect to what you have to think or believe, what your options are, and how you have to show up.
Examples:
💡 I can work less or be really successful → I can work less and be really successful. How is that true?
💡 I can make mistakes or be good at what I do → I can make mistakes and be good at what I do. How is that true?
💡 I can’t do that, I might fail → I might fail, and it’s worth it to me to try anyways. Why?
💡 I don’t like to give negative feedback because I don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings. → I can give feedback and be kind and compassionate. What would that look like for me?
💡 I can’t advocate for myself because I don’t want to be arrogant → I can be confident and also humble and honest about my limitations. How?
💡 My boss keeps making unreasonable requests of me → Yes, and I have control over whether I agree to those requests. How is that true?
💡 It isn’t possible → Maybe. But what if it is? How could it be possible?
💡 I can’t do that, I’ve never done it before → Yes, I’ve never done it, and I believe that I can. Why?
💡 Should I choose A or B? → Is it possible to accommodate both? What are my other options?
Our brains love black and white thinking. It’s easy.
But when you ignore the grey, you ignore the best parts. You ignore the place where expansion lives.
Where is your either/or thinking limiting you? How can you create more curiosity?
A ❤️ note to you: It’s absolutely possible to do this reframing on your own. It’s SO MUCH easier with a coach. It’s my job to see things you don’t. It’s my job to find the grey areas and make them clear. Sign up for a free call with me at jenndealcoaching.as.me/consult. On the call, we will (1) assess where you are now and where you want to be—the life you want versus the life you currently have, (2) I’ll tell you how coaching can help you make the changes you want, and (3) you’ll decide whether you’re ready to move forward with changing your life.
