The Joy of Missing Out

The JOMO is REAL. I get a small burst of joy when people cancel things. Even things I was looking forward to. I rarely experience disappointment or annoyance, and if I do, they are very temporary.

Why? Because I always have the thought “Ooh! Free time!”

BUT I used to never enjoy that time.

I would either spend it (a) being productive because I thought that was the thing I SHOULD do or (b) thinking about how I should “make the most of” the unexpected free time by doing something fun or exciting or relaxing or (c) thinking that the other person “shouldn’t” have done that. Or some combo. 

That immediately took the joy out of “getting the time back.”

Two things that helped me actually enjoy this time:

1️⃣Always having a list in my head of things I will do if I have some free time.

2️⃣Asking myself this: How can I use this time to best serve me, my goals, and my life right now? What is it that I want?

The second question is key. 

Sometimes the answer is resting.

Sometimes the answer is doing some work that I have scheduled later in the day or week so that I can shift the free time to different spot.

Sometimes the answer is adding in some fun.

Sometimes the answer is mindlessly watching IG Reels or catching up on a show I like. 

There isn’t a right answer. The real difference is that I make an immediate decision about what I’m going to do with that time (BECAUSE there isn’t a right answer), and then I don’t beat myself up about that decision. I never tell myself I’ve wasted my time. Or that someone else has. 

But how can you not beat yourself up about “wasting time”?

By acknowledging that there is no such thing as wasted time. The idea that time can be wasted is an optional thought. One you don’t have to subscribe to. Instead, you might choose to believe that time can only be used or spent —not wasted.

There are a million different ways you could spend your time. And an equal number of options about how you should spend it. What you consider a waste of time, someone else considers a brilliant use of their time. (In fact, some past or future version of might disagree with what present you believes).

The only actual fact is that you spent your time doing something and not something else. You get to decide how to spend that time, AND how to think about yourself for that decision. 

TELL ME:

💡What would change for you if you didn’t think time could be wasted? 

💡What would go on your short list of things to do when people cancel on you?

A ❤️ note to you: If you worry about wasting time and then end up spending time in ways you don’t like, I’ve got you. Sign up for a free call with me at jenndealcoaching.as.me/consult. We will (1) talk about that and any other goals you have for yourself and your life, (2) I’ll tell you how coaching can help get you there, and (3) you’ll decide whether you’re ready to move forward with changing your life.