We spend a lot of time outsourcing our emotions to other people.

It’s exhausting.

And unfulfilling.

It doesn’t work.

Always wanting someone else to behave a certain way so that we can feel good.

Making them responsible for how we feel.

Notice I said “want.”

And not “need.”

We tell ourselves so often that we “need” other people to act a certain way so that we can feel a certain way.

Loved. Respected. Appreciated. Proud.

But it isn’t a need.

It’s a want.

Describing it as a need makes you feel powerless and reliant.

And even if someone else fulfills the want, you will still be left wanting.

Because you haven’t learned how to create the emotion you want for yourself.

You haven’t learned how to feel loved, respected, appreciated, and proud without something external.

Next time you find yourself thinking that you “need” someone else to act a certain way, ask yourself these questions.

Why do I think I need them to do this?

What is it I want to feel? What is it that I would get to feel if they did what I wanted?

How can I create that for myself? What can I think that would allow me to feel that way regardless of what they do?

You are the only one that can truly meet your needs.

You are the only one that can truly give you what you want.

You are the only one who can truly create validation, respect, love, and pride for yourself.

There’s nothing wrong with wanting other people to act a certain way so that you can feel better.

It’s just part of being human.

There’s nothing wrong with knowing what you want and like and only surrounding yourself with people who are aligned with that.

But when we rely on other people to create our feelings for us, we miss out on so many opportunities to feel good.

Once you learn that you are the only one powerful enough to create your own emotional experience and to meet your own wants and needs, your world will open up.

You will have more capacity to love.

You allow other people to be their authentic selves.

You allow yourself to be authentically you.

And you will get back so much mental energy and time when you stop thinking about how other people should act so that you can feel better.

A love note to you: If you want to learn how to create your own emotional experience, I’m ready to help. Send me a DM or sign up for a free consult at www.jenndealcoaching.as.me/consult. We will spend an hour talking about you and your pain points, and how to address them.